The prez calls for restraint.

Of all the nutty little nuggets contained in the Bush man’s “State of the Union” address, my favorite, by far, is the call to cut gas consumption in America by 20%.

Once again, the Bush man has no concept of the average American household. Middle class and working class families aren’t out joyriding around town in their SUVs. I don’t know if the Admin. realized it, but gas prices have been hella high in the last few years. Most families go to work, go to the grocery store, take the kids to school and go home. They are not out burning their gas for fun and frivolities. They can’t afford it.

And, even if they wanted to take a personal responsibility and cut that consumption further—cut it until it hurts—most American cities DON’T have adequate public transportation to offset that. Here in Tulsa, the bus system is minimal, and there is no subway, train or taxi system to speak of. Without public infrastructure to take up the slack of a reduction in personal driving, how is the average American supposed to carry out the Prez’s wishes? Walk the 20 miles to work? In a town without adequate sidewalks or pedestrian crossings, like Tulsa? Tulsa is a town built for cars, as most American towns are: spread out, flat, distant, without public infrastructure.

Now, as a representative democracy—although, granted, not a DIRECT one, in the case of presidential elections—we are, to quote Honest Abe, “of the people, by the people, for the people.”

Therefore, I’d like the Bush Admin. to cover my 20% gas reduction. Take one for the team and all that—especially since I’ve been taking one for the team by paying for that damn war I don’t believe it. It’s George’s turn.

George, here are some suggestions:

1.) No more vacations in Air Force One. For business purposes ONLY. Diplomatic missions, etc. No weekly visits to the ranch, no trips to Graceland for fun and frolic with Japanese Prime Ministers, and NO campaign tour stops to stump for Republican candidates. (This goes for Dick, too.)

2.) Stop filling up that portable generator that runs Dick’s mechanical heart. The military has solar cloth, convert Dick to solar power.

3.) Take away the twins’ convertibles. They are fairly attractive college coeds. They can grab a ride home from the bar. No worries.

4.)  Cut your enormous parade of an entourage by 20%. So, about 2 of your 10 fleet vehicles. Have the Secret Service guys sit on each other’s laps, or pile up in the limo with you and Laura. You two can stop making out back there for awhile. Practice some restraint.

5.) And, finally, to quote my friend Randy: “Stop gasing up those Humvees to go and kill the brown people.”

 There you go, George. Practical suggestions to cut gas consumption.